Parenting
How are you teaching and modeling RESPONSIBILITY for your children and family?
Help your family and learn together as your children transition into teenagers.
Are you ready for the transition as a Christian? Parents--you will need to change things. You will need to change how you deal with your teen.
http://www.heartlightministries.org/blogs/markgregston/ Crime, Punishment and Grace: how do you deal with punishment?
As your family continues to grow in Christ, your teens will face their own battles with their faith. Please learn all you can as a parent how to transition into the parent your teen needs you to be.
What is 'age-appropriate' and what does it mean for my child?
Over-exposure:
It can happen in the sun and we get sunburned. OUCH! The redness, heat and soreness is awful! Sunburn will keep us from doing the things we love to do! Long-term effects to over-exposure to the sun can cause serious damage--even cancer.
The pain of over-exposure may be revealed over time. Some of the effects are immediate but some go undetected until much later. The intensity of the burn can take something that was meant for good and create something terrifying for a teen.
What does over-exposure look like to my daughter or son?
Now she/he is not quite as trusting.
She/he no longer takes the opportunity to go out.
She/he hides or masks her/his emotions.
Worry sets in.
She/he withdraws.
Behaviors change: she/he NEVER wants to feel that pain again--so they will do things completely out of character to avoid embarrassment, loss, and pain.
Imagine your child being over-exposed to EVERYTHING!
Information, images, words, a sexualized culture, sex, drugs, technology...the list goes on.
"Let's do it!" The natural development of an adolescent brings them into contact with situations they are not ready to handle. The internet has changed the way we get our information. It has changed the way kids get their information, too. Anyone can learn anything on the internet.
Solution #1: Connect with your teen.
Real relationship is not you telling them everything-what to do, how to do it, & when to do it. Parents LISTEN to your child. Don't settle for "my kids already tell me everything." They don't and won't. But listen to what they are telling you. Think of Hansel and Gretel. Little pieces of information are left for you to find them. Be the parent--be smart--watch for clues.
Zip your lip. No more Commander-in-Chief talk. LISTEN.
Solution #2: Expression is welcomed and Encouraged.
Sarcasm is the new weapon of choice for teens. Those who bully and those who have been bullied all say the same thing: sarcasm and cynicism destroy the heart of another. What once was a conflict between two people becomes a wildfire when social media and electronic speed are added. Send is a dangerous word.
Create the environment for your child to express their emotions: anger, silliness, confusion, frustration, sadness--the whole gamut. First try to interpret how your child processes their emotions: internal or external?
Chess match or punching bag?
Remember, this is NOT ABOUT YOU--it's about them.
Solution #3: Learn and understand THEIR culture
Appearance and performance are everything. The difference today is that kids need to look good in order to be accepted by other kids--this is not limited to teens. Kids change their appearance from a place of extreme emptiness. They try to avoid their desperation or aloneness and will do anything to get the attention of their peers.
Who are your child's friends? Do you know their parents? This is a tough one--because sometimes parents are into THINGS. Where do kids get this?
Appearance is real--interpret what this means for your child with them. Explore appearance-fashion-name brands--the whole industry. Make it something you both learn about and come to an agreement about it together.
Want more help?
Tough Guys and Drama Queens: How Not to get Blindsided by your Child's Teen Years by Mark Gregston.
Or Heartlight Ministries can help!
"Let's do it!" The natural development of an adolescent brings them into contact with situations they are not ready to handle. The internet has changed the way we get our information. It has changed the way kids get their information, too. Anyone can learn anything on the internet.
Solution #1: Connect with your teen.
Real relationship is not you telling them everything-what to do, how to do it, & when to do it. Parents LISTEN to your child. Don't settle for "my kids already tell me everything." They don't and won't. But listen to what they are telling you. Think of Hansel and Gretel. Little pieces of information are left for you to find them. Be the parent--be smart--watch for clues.
Zip your lip. No more Commander-in-Chief talk. LISTEN.
Solution #2: Expression is welcomed and Encouraged.
Sarcasm is the new weapon of choice for teens. Those who bully and those who have been bullied all say the same thing: sarcasm and cynicism destroy the heart of another. What once was a conflict between two people becomes a wildfire when social media and electronic speed are added. Send is a dangerous word.
Create the environment for your child to express their emotions: anger, silliness, confusion, frustration, sadness--the whole gamut. First try to interpret how your child processes their emotions: internal or external?
Chess match or punching bag?
Remember, this is NOT ABOUT YOU--it's about them.
Solution #3: Learn and understand THEIR culture
Appearance and performance are everything. The difference today is that kids need to look good in order to be accepted by other kids--this is not limited to teens. Kids change their appearance from a place of extreme emptiness. They try to avoid their desperation or aloneness and will do anything to get the attention of their peers.
Who are your child's friends? Do you know their parents? This is a tough one--because sometimes parents are into THINGS. Where do kids get this?
Appearance is real--interpret what this means for your child with them. Explore appearance-fashion-name brands--the whole industry. Make it something you both learn about and come to an agreement about it together.
Want more help?
Tough Guys and Drama Queens: How Not to get Blindsided by your Child's Teen Years by Mark Gregston.
Or Heartlight Ministries can help!
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