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Marriage

What is the Mission of my marriage?

What is the purpose of marriage? The Bible's answer to this question starts with the principle that marriage is a friendship.

Marriage was God's idea....it is not good for this man to be alone. In all the perfect creation which God called 'good,' evidently it was not good for Adam to be alone. Adam was made in their likeness. Their? God is a 'their?'

Theologians have tried to wrap their minds around this for millenia. As Orthodox Christians, we believe in the Triune nature of God--the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. They are the perfect community who loves one another because it is their divine nature to do so. Creating human beings in their image means we are designed for relationship. 
 


God created Adam, put him in the Garden but his aloneness was not good. The Genesis 1-2 narrative implies we are designed with an intense relational capacity-created and given to us by God-that is NOT totally filled by a relationship with Him....huh?

We humans need more. Our vertical relationship with God is our primary relationship. But, our horizontal relationships reveal our true human nature and need for relationships. The confirmation is revealed within our intuition that family and friendships are a greater blessing than we ever imagined. 

The Hebrew word 'ezer means 'helper-companion,' a friend. The scripture could be read like this: "At last! Bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. Meeting you fills a void within me." Later in the Old Testament book called Song of Solomon, the female speaker echoes this statement by saying, "This is my lover, this is my friend." (5:16)  How romantic! Honey, you are my 'ezer! 


Thinking of your spouse as your best friend is not new. Cliches are cliches for a reason. Friendships arise when two or more discover some insight or interest. Do you love me? Do we see the same truth? Do we care about the same truth?

     Imagine this: the man is the head of the house. She believes that. He believes that. They share a common insight and interest. He is the authority, she is not. This relationship is not biblical nor Godly. Why? 

God's intention is for the relationship to be of equals but each partner plays a unique disctinctive role. This is called spiritual constancy. Christian friends bear each other's burdens. They identify and honor by affirming in others their gifts. Spiritual friendship is not simply going to concerts or going to a sporting event together. It develops a deep sense of journey and destination together. This person shares challenges and danger with you. It's this idea of 'one-anothering.'

Love one another. You've heard this a thousand times. But, God means for us to be deeply invested in someone else's life. Share burdens, challenges and face danger together! The greatest adventure in life is to do this! God's design was for us to go through all this with a husband or a wife!!!